im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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