Don't you send me to vm
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
