do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
