So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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