We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
