In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize