Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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