so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize