Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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