If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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