Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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