No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
