Swine flu. Run for my life!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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