so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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