i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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