i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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