Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
