I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
