I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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