This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
