proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
