and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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