Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
