Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
