Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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