mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
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so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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