guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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