His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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