So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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