why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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