The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
