so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
