What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
