It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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