it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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