So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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