I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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