Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
