I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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