party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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