I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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