I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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