Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
