called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
