i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
