I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Life is so much better after having sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
