Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
