Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
