hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
