how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
