well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
