How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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