Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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