For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
