Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
