I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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