Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
