if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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