why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
