im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize