I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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