Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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