I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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