Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
